Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
