Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
