They should really pass out barf bags in church
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
