I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
