you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
