i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
