i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?