You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
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I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.