i think i have herpe
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.