She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world