look no pants
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
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It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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