Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I checked into jail on foursquare
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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