I wannas sexs uuuuu
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
