My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
