I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
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