I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
