I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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