Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
