butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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