his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
