girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
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I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize