Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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