8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
