So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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