girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
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Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
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but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!