So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????