it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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