this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize