So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
