Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
