Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
