You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
