Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
