I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
