I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
