I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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