Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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