i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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