he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
