I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
