you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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