So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
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