ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
and she was petting her beer can
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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