My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
