Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
