I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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