it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
my poor anus
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
