my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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