Me too!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
