I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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