Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
