So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Help. Why am I so naked?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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