My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize