I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
