That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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