how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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