i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
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He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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