is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
