To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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