i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
